Random Ideas

Wow, I have forgotten that I had a blog.  I have always been struggling to sleep and job seeking in Japan is just worsening it. It’s currently almost 6 in the morning and I am writing this on bed while lying down. My physical body can be on the bed resting, but my mind always travel away. I can’t seem to get it stopping. For now, I don’t know what to say, so I will just try my best on sleeping. Although the morning birds are already chirping around.

 Well, it's 15 minutes before an online class and I thought this as a time-killer. So, I wanna talk about yesterday. I made a time schedule for myself and I felt that schedule is so stiff and very idealistic. I felt like I should extend my sleeping time, I really need a motivation to wake up in the morning like in the schedule I made. Anyway, it was my birthday yesterday. I wanted to ramble a lot. But, I kinda forgot what I wanna write about. Probably something like, I felt I need time for myself 'cuz a lot of people be like are you celebrating with the others and I was like huh? I just wanna treat myself better aka let me sleep. And yeah I did slept and truthfully it wasnt the best sleep but at least I got some time for myself. And yeah I wanted to go out so much, it was very sunny yesterday, perfect for a walk. But, I kinda wavered between sleeping or have a date with myself, but yes as I mentioned it bfr, I slept.  Tho I felt everyone I love actually cares about me (to some...

 Melatih Menulis dengan Kata Tidak Familiar Xerthixt     Akhirnya aku telah berhasil menginjakkan kakiku di kota legendaris ini, Kota  Xerthixt! Kota Xerthixt terletak di tengah-tengah kontinen Gabarza dan dilalui belasan sungai besar, salah satunya Sungai Huangyin yang aku gunakan untuk berangkat sampai kota ini. Di Kota Xerthixt ini udaranya memang berdeda daripada desa kecilku, di sini tercium hiruk-piruk kehidupan pedatang baru yang mencoba menyesuaikan dengan kehidupan baru mereka, tercium juga harumnya perkacapan ibu-ibu rumah tangga yang mengaduh tentang betapa sulitnya anak mereka diatur selagi mengunjungi toko-toko diskon, lalu tercium juga wangi-wangi perempuan manis yang tertawa tersipu menutup mulut mereka dengan jemari lentik mereka.  Cenobalistigari  "Bu, saya izin pergi merantau,"  Ikal menguatkan suaranya agar tidak terdengar tangisan di dalam kalimat tersebut.  Ibu Ikal yang sudah berusia rentan itu mengelus rambut tak m...

 THINGS BETTER GOT DONE! Well, today's classes weren't as bad as it can be. But, the thing is why is it harder to concentrate when it is online rather than offline classes? Well, this is probably imasara  thing really.... I feel like when it is online rather than offline, I tend to think yeah its recorded probably I can just chill and feed myself like some kind of hungry monster who hasn't eaten for years.  Yes, I ate a lot today. Like A LOT... I have promised myself and my stomach I wouldn't be eating this dem delicious cereal (Sante Classic Crunchy, which really is delish and vegetarian) as a dinner nor as a lunch. But, I ate it anyway when I just had lunch with a big bowl of penne and expired (yes, sadly I am living a single student life) tofu and fake meat ( daizu no oniku , idk whats that in English lol) and two whole glasses of cartooned juice (which arent really juice). I gotta applaud for myself, really. Recently, I weighed myself and yes, I am considerably heav...

     Aku pernah menulis tentang diri aku sendiri di sebuah file di dalam google docs pribadi yang tidak pernah aku bagikan ke siapa pun. Hal ini karena aku tidak terlalu suka jika orang lain membaca dan mengetahui sesuatu pribadi tentang diriku. Bukan. Aku bukan anak yang pemalu, aku justru anak yang memalukan. Aku sendiri yang merasa tidak ada gunakan bagi mereka untuk membaca tulisan yang se-subjektif itu tentang diriku. Mungkin juga karena aku memiliki pemikiran bahwa, manusia pada hakikatnya hanya tertarik kepada diri mereka sendiri jadi, untuk apa aku membeberkan ke semua orang tentang diriku yang seperti ini?      Lalu, aku mengerti jika disuruh untuk menceritakan tentang diri sendiri, ada satu kebiasan yang aku sering lakukan, yaitu mejelekkan diri sendiri. Sebenarnya, hal ini bisa dianggap sesuatu yang negatif, tetapi aku rasa ini adalah salah satu cara tersendiriku untuk menghadapi pahitnya realita kehidupan. Kita ambil contoh, di jaman sekarang ya...

A Rough Start. It is always a rough start.  This is a personal story and a personal complaint. And at this point, I just post these things online to just to vent my kept feelings and let them be in existence. Post them on somewhere where people around me don't know of, where I can freely write things I thought and felt and wished. I hope there isn't anyone who come to stumble upon these stuffs. Tho it's nothing famous or anything, it's still on the internet so there is still a chance of it. This is going to be a really ugly, disoriented essay. Bear yourself. Anyway, today I felt really hollow, empty inside of me. I am in a foreign country at the moment, still adjusting to the new environment and am on a 2 weeks-quarantine, making things slightly distant. I do have friends here. No, actually I don't really know if they are my real friends or not. I just talked to them from time to time but then I would feel really left out on the conversations (both online and offlin...